Although several of our recent blog titles have utilised exclamation marks, I feel the use use of one in this instance is justified. Read on, and I’m sure you’ll agree.

Last night, I found myself reclining on the couch at Gavin ‘HT’ Nebauer’s mountain retreat while we made some last-minute changes to the album mixes . About two hours into the session I noticed a very large, mean-looking spider crawling across a commemorative photo of new years eve 1999, entitled ‘A New Millennium’, which hangs proudly on the wall near HT’s bedroom. I promptly sounded the alert and HT and myself sprang to our feet, grabbing any nearby footwear, which everyone knows is the best weapon you’ve got against a spider. HT was elected as the man for the job, and began to approach the monster with a black thong raised high above his head. For the benefit of our international readers, in Australia a thong refers to the simple shoe commonly known as a ‘flip-flop’, rather than a G-string. He was actually stripped to the waist and wearing nothing but a lace G-string, but that is a story for another day.

As HT gingerly moved into classic spider-striking position, the spider jumped at him! His cat-like reflexes enabled him to move out of the firing line and the spider landed with a thump (I kid you not – a thump!) on the floor and took off. We both screamed like school-girls who had just seen a flasher in the park and I headed to the car to fetch my torch.  We spent the next 30 minutes searching under every nook and cranny, all the while terrified that the spider was going to jump out of the shadows and attack our face. Eventually, we found a couple of spidey legs slightly protruding from underneath a piece of acoustic foam. What ensued was a classic battle of man vs beast vs copious amounts of insect spray, as we flushed the spider out of it’s hiding space and proceeded to drown it in white, foamy bug spray. Although it was touch and go for a while, I can report that the spider was declared dead at 11:48 Australian Eastern Standard Time.

The spider carcass was scraped off HT’s wooden floor and deposited in the bin, and we retired to the couch with a cup of Safeway-branded Ceylon tea to calm our nerves.

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